The following apparently has been around for about 10 years and I may have used it in the past but I still love it. (Which means a liberal would hate it-which is another reason to love it).
So, not for the first time ever, What I’m Calling the The Constitution Update 2010 is presented with full editorial comments along the way. 🙂
“We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.”
Class Warfare Liberals are tedious,evil, and need to be stopped.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
Addendum: Nor a house with a cheap mortgage just because you want one and the liberals want you to have it, health care paid by someone else, A mandated “penalty” tax if you don’t agree, or a vacation in Fiji every year.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave t he room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
Addendum: That includes Islamophobia, Homophobia, and any other phobia the liberal Politically Correct can come up with to try and make you as guilt-ridden and as cowed they want you to be.
It also means that you’re not a racist if you disagree with a Liberal.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy..
Addendum: Tort Reform is not evil. And if you spill your hot coffee, don’t go looking for a lawyer to sue someone almost immediately.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes …
Addendum: 99 weeks of unemployment is ok. But not raising taxes in a recession is evil. Now that’s a liberal for you.
Illegal Immigration still means ILLEGAL. Period.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.
Addendum: See NHS.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
Addendum: But if you’re a minority and your the perp, Call The US DOJ, ask for Eric Holder, I’m sure he can get you off.
If Illegally here in the first place: Call Gloria Alred. She use you for her own ego stroke , but everyone will know who you are.
And if that doesn’t work, Hilda Solis wants to hear from you.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
Addendum: Unless you get elected to Congress that is…then it’s practically a pre-requisite that you lie, cheat and steal.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)
Addendum: 99 weeks of unemployment? Turning down job offers because unemployment pays better? WTF!
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Addendum: But boy will the Liberal try to spend your way to happiness with your money. It will be a colossal failure. But don’t worry, it won’t be their fault. After all, they are perpetual victims even if they are the perpetrator!
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly….)
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution.
Addendum: The Classroom is not a socialist test kitchen where you indoctrinate kids to your political philosophy so that when they reach voting age they have no idea what the real history and traditions of this country are and are easily manipulated into doing their Master’s bidding.
Addendum: Christianity is basically good. Unlike what Liberals think (unless they are trying to convince you that Obama is a Christian and not a Muslim then they are useful).
Blowing people up if you disagree with them seems to be tolerable to Liberals as long as it’s not them.
The separation of church and state works for liberals only in destroying God, because their God is Government. We the People, disagree.
And I’m an agnostic to boot! So there! 🙂