You Just Might Be A Liberal…

Are you not sure that you’re a liberal? Well, there’s an easy way to find out. You might be a liberal if…

1) ….Your newspaper calls people “bigoted” for being worried about bringing Syrian refugees to America, but you won’t run pictures of Muhammad because you’re afraid Muslims might kill you for it.

2) ….You think every man accused of sexual assault is guilty until proven innocent except Bill Clinton.

3)….You insist that anyone who questions global warming hates science even though you don’t understand any of the science behind it yourself and you say we have to do something about climate change primarily because you want to impress your liberal friends.

4) ….You are terrified that holding terrorists at Guantanamo Bay who are trying to murder Americans might make the other terrorists who are trying to murder Americans mad.

5) ….You believe there’s a “Republican War on Women;” yet you are okay with aborting baby girls for any reason, think any man who says he identifies as a woman should be able to use the women’s bathroom and you want to put Bill Clinton back in the White House.

6) ….You claim to constantly hear Republican “dog whistles” that 99% of the population misses; yet you’d deny you’re racist for insisting that black Americans aren’t competent enough to get an ID to vote.

 

7) …You think there’s a possibility that Obama might be able to have a productive conversation with radical Islamists who want to kill us, but dialogue with the NRA is impossible.

8)….You believe Hillary Clinton is telling the truth. About anything. Ever.

9) ….You simultaneously believe the police are violent trigger-happy racists who shoot people for no good reason and that we should disarm the populace so that only the government has guns.

10) ….You went to a talk given on your campus by a conservative just so you could scream at him for “invading your safe space.”

11) ….You think Chris Kyle was a monster for killing so many enemies of America while Bowe Bergdahl deserves to be treated with respect and compassion after deserting his unit.

12) ….You believe you’re a caring and compassionate person because you advocate giving other people’s money away to people you hope will vote for candidates you like.

13) ….You believe that anyone who dislikes Barack Obama must hate him because he’s a minority, but your hatred of Ted Cruz and Clarence Thomas is perfectly justifiable.

14) ….You think you are a sophisticated person with a deep understanding of complex political issues, but sum up every one with some variation of, “Republicans are evil, racist, and they hate you while liberals like me are nice!”

15) ….You think it’s vitally important to increase the number of Muslim immigrants coming to America so they can inform on all the other Muslims who are planning terrorist attacks.

16) ….You blame the Republicans for the failure of Obamacare even though none of them voted for it.

17) ….Your first response to a terrorist attack committed by radical Islamists who’ve sworn allegiance to ISIS is to try to disarm every law-abiding gun owner in the country.

18) ….You think an unemployed, white factory worker who’s struggling to feed his family has some sort of racial privilege compared to Barack Obama, Melissa Harris Perry or Al Sharpton.

19) ….You say fences don’t work and gun-free zones do, but if Republicans wanted the fence around the White House taken down and demanded that the Secret Service be disarmed, you’d accuse them of trying to get Obama killed.

20) ….You believe Bruce Jenner is a woman, Rachel Dolezal is black and Elizabeth Warren is an Indian.

21)  Food in any way can be a “microagression” based on race, religion, sex, or ethnicity.

22) Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. Guns kill people so getting rid of Guns will kill less people.

23) The Power of Life and Death is “Pro-Choice”.

24) Any immigration is good no matter how it was done and anyone opposed to any immigration of any kind is “racist”.

25) A Religion is a Race, unless they are Christians, then they are just bigots.

26) Utter the word “islamophobia” and mean it.

27) Anything with a (D) after their name is ok and can do anything they want because it’s better than they alternative.

28) Democrats Lie, but it’s your fault not theirs.

29) A Tax is a Penalty, even after it’s ruled a Tax it’s still a Penalty.

30) “What Difference Does it Make?”

31) It was the fault of a You Tube Video.

32) That the Media is not biased and that people like Hillary and Barack are “moderates” and any Republican is “extreme”.

Political Cartoons by Gary Varvel
Political Cartoons by Bob Gorrell
Political Cartoons by Steve Kelley
Political Cartoons by Michael Ramirez

The Greatest Snark of All

“To the students of color at Mizzou, we stand with you in solidarity. To those who would threaten their sense of safety, we are watching.

Yeah, they want safety from people who would disagree with their cry baby narcissism… Mommy Government make them stop! 🙂

<span class='image-component__caption' itemprop="caption">Students at Yale stand in solidarity with Mizzou. </span> Ken Yanagisawa Students at Yale stand in solidarity with Mizzou. 

The guy who started it is from a 1%er multi-million dollar capitalist family….

Oh, and it’s a Hoax, just like “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot”. Gee, no one saw that coming…Least of all Zombie Liberals.

Nice COMMUNIST Symbology. Learn that in College did we? 🙂

*******

SO with that, Matt Walsh:

Dear Walmart,

I am writing to inform you of a terrible attack I suffered in one of your stores this week. The assault against me was so violent and oppressive that I had to immediately retreat to my healing space, where I lay whimpering on the floor for three and a half days, barely able to move or breathe. I emerge now, courageously, only because I must see that those responsible are made to answer for their crimes. I feel deeply triggered even speaking about it, but I must soldier on, in the name of #Justice.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

It all started in the parking lot of my local Walmart. I was walking from my car to the store, minding my own business, when suddenly another customer, a man, walked up and accosted me. I should pause here and apologize to the transgender, agender, nongender, pangender, bigender, trigender, and quasigender communities if they feel offended or victimized because I’m labeling this individual a man. To be honest, he never mentioned his gender identity, and I would be the last person to ever assume anything about anyone. But in this case I feel comfortable guessing that the entity in question was a man because, in my experience, only cisgender white Christian Republican middle class heterosexual men are ever guilty of doing anything wrong. Anyway, I don’t really believe in labels, except for the five or six labels I just used in the previous sentence.

So, back to the incident. The man came alongside me, out of nowhere and without invitation, and immediately started sharing opinions with me. They were bad opinions. Opinions I didn’t like. Opinions that were different and confusing and scary. Opinions that shouldn’t exist. Opinions that made me feel delegimitized and otherized and vaporized. Literally vaporized. The opinions were like a death ray that zapped me and reduced me to ash and rubble.

Somehow, in the midst of this barrage, I was able to let out a desperate shriek. “STOP,” I yelled. “STOP. DEAR GOD. STOP.” He looked at me and even his look was offensive because I could tell in his head he was still thinking opinions that weren’t my opinions. “HOW DARE YOU DEVALUE MY LIFE EXPERIENCES,” I shouted.

He told me he had no idea what that meant. I could tell he’d never been to college. I put up my hands – just like they teach us in college – and started screaming “SAFE SPACE, SAFE SPACE, I’M IN MY SAFE SPACE” over and over again.

I thought that was the end of it. They told me in college nobody is allowed to think differently, and if anyone ever does think differently, all I need to do is run to my safe space. Everyone has to respect my safe space, which isn’t to be confused with my healing space, although my healing space must also be respected.

But these defenses were useless against the man. He only upped the ante. He insulted me. INSULTED ME. Do you understand what I’m saying to you? He formed words with his lips and ejected sounds from his throat and those sounds came out in the form of insults. He called me names. All kinds of names. All kinds of terrible, awful names. I’d repeat them here but I fear it would only cause others to experience the trauma I am now suffering.

I ran away from the man. I ran away as fast as I could, but he was still shouting words, and I felt like I might never escape. Eventually I made it into the store. In a haze of anxiety and confusion I grabbed several items from the shelf and tried to leave without paying for them. The manager stopped me. I explained to him that I’d just been insulted by some guy outside. He said he’s sorry about that but it doesn’t mean I get to steal.

Steal? STEAL? I’d just been mugged by opinions and insults moments earlier, and now I was being accused of doing something that I was in the process of doing? I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe any of it. Is there no end to the intolerance?

I have been meditating on this series of tragedies ever since that day. It has become clear to me, especially in light of the inspiring protests at the University of Missouri, that I have no choice but to demand the immediate resignation of Walmart CEO Doug McMillon.

You might call me ridiculous. You might say this story sounds at least partially fabricated. You might say that even if it isn’t, it has nothing to do with the CEO of the company, nor does it have anything to do with the company at all. You might say this was one unpleasant man who said unpleasant things, and there’s no reason why anyone from Walmart should have to answer for it. You might say there’s really no reason why anything at all should be done, frankly. People say mean things to other people sometimes, you might say. There’s not always a remedy or a recourse, nor should we try to find one, you might say.

But you are only saying this because you are white and privileged. I myself do not identify as white. My mother’s step-dad’s aunt’s hairdresser’s cousin visited an Indian reservation in the 50s, so I naturally consider myself part Cherokee — or Mohican or Aztec or whatever. Indeed, I suspect the man at Walmart probably chose to attack me because he harbors bigotries against Native Americans. At one point he even said “I harbor bigotries against Native Americans.” I know that doesn’t sound like something an actual person would say, even if they do harbor bigotries against Native Americans, but anyone who accuses me of exaggerating obviously harbors bigotries against Native Americans.

So I must insist that Doug McMillon take responsibility for fostering an environment where people feel comfortable having bigotries and opinions in the parking lots of his stores. I can’t point to any one specific thing Mr. McMillon has done to create this issue, but that is precisely the problem. His inaction is the real outrage here.

Indeed, what has Mr. McMillon done? What has he done to stop people from saying mean things in and around the nation’s Walmarts? Has he posted signs reminding us not to share our opinions with one another? Has he officially declared Walmarts to be No Insult Zones? Has he made any attempt to give his customers a true understanding of the impact hurtful words have on marginalized populations? Has he set up safe spaces in his stores where those dealing with the effects of unpleasant phrases and ideas can go to regroup and share their feelings? Has he followed the progressive lead of the University of Missouri and established racially segregated healing spaces so that different minority groups can be vulnerable around others who share their authentic racial experiences? Has he instituted mandatory inclusivity and sensitivity seminars for all of his employees and customers? Has he conducted awareness campaigns to make people aware of things? Has he then followed those awareness campaigns with awareness awareness campaigns to make people aware of the awareness? Has he even taken the basic step of offering free Yoga classes in the back of every Walmart to help his customer de-stress?

Has he done any of this? No? Nothing? Exactly.

At this point, the only recourse is for Mr. McMillon to issue a public apology, resign his post, forfeit his severance, donate all of his money to a hippy commune or public university of my choice, burn his house down, and live the rest of his life under a bridge. I can see no other solution.

Next, I am forced to demand the manager of my local store resign and repay me the money he made me hand over for the items I tried to allegedly steal. Also, I demand that the governor of Maryland be arrested, the president impeached, the U.N. disbanded, and Australia nuked into oblivion. All of these people, organizations, and countries did nothing to stop that man from insulting me, and they must all pay the price, even in their own blood if necessary. I wish it did not have to come to this, but it isn’t my fault. I’m simply a man who reasonably expects to only ever encounter sweetness and smiles and happy thoughts, as is my constitutional right.

Going forward, once the requisite blood sacrifices have been made to atone for the opinions and insults of one man, I make the following further demands:

  • I demand that anyone who has been injured by emotional or mental violence be permitted to purchase products without paying for them. People cannot be financially burdened during such a difficult time. To achieve social justice, aggrieved minorities must be given free stuff. They teach this on the first day of college.
  • I demand that Walmart corporate offices hire new staff according to an arbitrary quota formula I will devise. I’ll get back to you with the specifics, but I know for sure that there should be at least 12 Native Americans, 24 black Americans, 37 homosexuals, 321 transgenders, and 600 bisexual Hispanic feminists holding high ranking positions in your company. This is just obvious. Companies that are not run by victims cannot understand victims, and if they cannot understand victims, they cannot prevent victims from being victimized, which is really the primary job of every company and every person everywhere.
  • I demand that Walmart greeters be replaced with therapeutic asexual cuddlers. It is appalling that I ran through your store with tears streaming down my cheeks and not one – not ONE – employee offered to cuddle me and make me feel better. Every employee should be given consensual cuddle training, and there ought to be at least two specialists stationed by the entrances and exits of the stores. Again, this is obvious stuff.
  • I demand that Walmart identify marginalized employees and customers and immediately make them general managers of their own stores.
  • I demand that all customers and employees be required to ride electric scooters so that the elderly and the morbidly obese don’t feel otherized.
  • I demand that Walmart develop a strategic five year plan to end hurting and sadness. During this process, you must cooperate and consult with the Social Justice Diversity Tolerance Outreach and Inclusiveness Center, which is an institution you’ll also have to create and fund and operate and staff.

I am hereby beginning a #HungerStrike until my demands are met. Some might call me a #HeroForSocialJustice but I like to think I’m just a regular guy who’s finally taking a stand. Heroically.

You have 12 hours to do everything I’ve commanded, or else your stores will be flooded with a racially and sexually diverse group of young, well-dressed, upper middle class protesters who will hold signs and chant slogans and Tweet about the oppression you’ve brought upon them.

The clock is ticking.

Sincerely,

A #Victim

AMEN, my brother. 🙂

Political Cartoons by Glenn McCoy

Missouri Misery

Political Cartoons by Glenn McCoy

What is going on at the University of Missouri?  Their president, Tom Wolfe resigned after protest erupted because he didn’t respond decisively enough to various racist incidents on campus.  (In a dramatic flourish, the school’s football team even went on a hunger strike.)

Or at least this is what the news is reporting.  David French, on National Review, takes umbrage at this explanation, because it “collapses under the slightest scrutiny.”

He writes:

The idea that Wolfe presided over a racially insensitive educational empire is a sad joke. A timeline of racial outrages in Columbia is sparse indeed, showing two allegations of racial name-calling (on a campus with 35,000 students) and one disturbing incident in which a swastika was drawn on a dorm wall with human waste. No rational, sentient human being believes system presidents can be responsible for what lunatics do with their own feces, or that they can prevent any given student from shouting racial slurs. Not even the worst communist dictatorships could control the speech of all their subjects. Wolfe couldn’t stop drunk undergraduates from hurling insensitive insults even if he established his own gulag and deployed commissars across campus.”

Oh but they are:

The Missouri University Police Department (MUPD) sent an email to students Tuesday morning urging them to call them and report any hurtful speech they encounter on the campus.

In an email that was flagged by several Missouri-based journalists, the MUPD asked “individuals who witness incidents of hateful and/or hurtful speech or actions” to call the department’s general phone line “to continue to ensure that the University of Missouri campus remains safe.” They suggest that students provide a detailed description of the offender, their location or license plate number, and even to take a picture if possible.

In the email, MUPD readily admits that hurtful or hateful speech is not against the law. But, they write, “if the individuals identified are students, MU’s Office of Student Conduct can take disciplinary action.”

In a statement to Mediaite, the MUPD confirmed that the email was real. When asked about the potential First Amendment implications, a spokesman responded simply, “We are simply asking them to report what they feel is hurtful and/or hateful speech.”

Aka, not politically correct and not what the little cherubs of easily offended social justice didn’t want to hear.

He added that the police did not consider the hateful speech “a criminal matter.” However, “We also work for the University and uphold the Universities Rules and Regulations.”

Fortunately for the radicals, our universities are populated by the craven and the cowardly. Push a professor, even slightly, and it’s likely he’ll fold. Demand faculty support for your protest, and dozens will rush to join, self-righteously advancing their own false oppression narratives even as they enjoy lives billions of others would covet. There is nothing brave about these people. They are not “elite.” They don’t deserve a single dime of taxpayer money or one cent of student tuition. They dishonor their schools and their country.

A Mizzou professor almost resigned his position at the school after he said a scheduled exam would take place, despite his class raising security concerns due to the growing tension on campus. They felt “unsafe.”

Campus Reform reported that Dr. Dale Brigham received the ire of the news media for “shaming” minority students for being worried about death threats, one man was arrested for posting such threats earlier this morning. Yet, MU police have increased security, they’re confident that the campus remains safe, and the administration has not placed the school on lockdown or sent anybody home. This situation is being overblown (shocker), though it wouldn’t be a social justice warrior sideshow without things being egregiously exaggerated. The fact that a professor almost checked out for doing his job is ridiculous, especially since he wasn’t the personification of evil.

In the end, the school did not accept Brigham’s resignation.

The University of Missouri has become a subject of debate, given that both the university’s president and chancellor resigned after the student body felt they failed to address alleged instances of racism on campus. Yet, that story seems to be evaporating in the ether. The story is now about the protestors’ horrific violation and disrespect for First Amendment rights; a textbook example of petulance from a group of kids absorbed by political correctness.

According to a social media message being circulated among social justice student groups at the University of Missouri, better known as Mizzou, students are being encouraged to carry pepper spray and tasers to protect their “safe spaces” and blacks.

The University of Missouri’s student body vice president did not mince words when she used an appearance on MSNBC Wednesday to say journalists who claim to be exercising their First Amendment rights while reporting on the Mizzou protests are actually creating a “hostile” and “unsafe” environment.

When asked about complaints from professors that universities are becoming “places of censor and prohibition,” Smith-Lezama said people are using the First Amendment to create a “hostile and unsafe learning environment.”

“I personally am tired of hearing that First Amendment rights protect students when they are creating a hostile and unsafe learning environment for myself and for other students here,” Smith-Lezama said. “I think that it’s important for us to create that distinction and create a space where we can all learn from one another and start to create a place of healing rather than a place where we are experiencing a lot of hate like we have in the past.”

“Sensitive and confidential info: We’re (black students and our closest allies) gonna occupy the bcc from 9am until. We don’t want them to feel in control. So we’ll hold study hall in our safe place all day and escort ppl wherever they need to be. But don’t put this info on any public platform. Let ppl know thru TEXT & DMs only please. Have pepper spray, taser, whatever non-lethal weapon if possible. Help protect our safe space and spread the word so blacks can be protected,” the message reads.

In other words, everyday events that are bearable for anyone with a scintilla of rational thought are considered apocalyptic to these students.

Social Justice Warriors Unite! Don’t Let them “offend” you. Crush them! 🙂

Political Cartoons by Nate Beeler
Political Correctness Gone Wild's photo.
Political Cartoons by Lisa Benson