John Hawkins: Last week, I put out The Liberal Translation Guide: 20 Translations of Things That Liberals Say and people were like, “Woah, I had no idea that when liberals say they want ‘organic food;’ what they really mean is that they want to EAT BABIES.” Okay, that’s not true at all. But, what is true is that people loved those translations and wanted more. Now it’s time to give the people what they want…
1) “Dressing up as a giant vagina in public” — The best way to preserve the dignity of women.
2) “Nazi” – Germans who attempted to take over the world during WWII and members of the American Nazi Party. Oh, and Donald Trump….And Mitt Romney, too. George W. Bush? Of course! Definitely all the Tea Party members and the people who voted for Trump. Conservatives in general? Sure. Come to think of it, pretty much every American who doesn’t agree with any part of the liberal agenda.
And if not that: Use Racist, Homophobic, Transphobic, Islamophobic, sexist, and/or bigot. Did I leave anything or anyone out? 🙂
3) “Fetus” – A life-sucking parasite with no soul that feeds off the life of a woman and should be destroyed via abortion before you have a party celebrating its demise, unless you want the fetus, in which case it’s a sweet, loving baby.
The power of life and death, who lives and who dies. Don’t you dare get in the way of that. Unless it’s a gun, then you have right to use or even own it you nutjob.
4) “Corporate Welfare” – Something that’s horrible and should never happen unless it involves Planned Parenthood, PBS or NPR.
Or any other Liberal Elite institution.
5) “Fake News” – News from non-liberal sources which are, by definition, fake because they make you stick your hands in your ears and yell, “La-La-La, I don’t want to hear from conservatives, la-la-la!”.’
Not Ministry of Truth approved.
6) “Stolen Election” – Relatively close elections that Republicans must have won with the help of Vladimir Putin, Jeb Bush or the Koch brothers.
Even if it can be proven that so far at least a third of Hillary popular vote victory was from non-citizens voting. That doesn’t matter.
7) “Homophobes” – Christians who believe in the almost universally agreed upon standards of male/female marriage that existed for thousands of years until liberals decided that the foundation of our civilization isn’t trendy enough.
See also “Nazi” or KKK.
8) “Xenophobe” – Americans who believe we should put our country’s interests ahead of other nations like Mexico, Iran and France.
Also, you believe in a border, at all. The term “illegal alien” set off yourn Thoughtcrime Filters and your mind shuts down at the concept.
9) “Diversity” – A group of liberals who agree on every single issue, but also happen to be gay, black, female, Hispanic or transsexual.
Can also be used to shame any non-liberal, because after all Diversity is a Holy Writ of Sanctimony for Liberals so only they can decree it’s existence from on high.
10) “Investment” – Wasting billions of dollars on useless government programs and giveaways that produce nothing of value.
11) “White Privilege” – The special superpowers gifted to white people that insure that there will never be a black President and all white people will always be wealthy and successful without having to work for it.
And all white people are inherently and genetically created with the Original Sin of Racism and must be repent for their sins by grovelling at the feet of a Liberal and begging their forgiveness.
12) “The constitution is a living, breathing document.” – If there are enough liberals on a court, they can ignore the law and override democracy to implement a left-wing agenda.
The Constitution is a tool for manipulation to be disregarded when it conflicts with The Agenda and/or Narrative.
13) “Patriotism” – Hatefully complaining about every real or imaginary fault of America while unfavorably comparing our country to places like Cuba and China.
See also “racism”, “sexism” and “xenophobia”. This a ‘disease’ that Liberal loathe.
14) “Violent rhetoric” – Words like “crossfire,” “job killing,” “crosshairs,” and “targeted” when used by Republicans.
“Nasty Woman” Ashley or “bomb”er Madonna are non-violent by comparison.
15) “Detroit” – An extremely liberal city in a liberal state that must have been run into the ground and bankrupted by Republicans despite the fact that it hasn’t had a Republican mayor since 1962.
See “Robocop” (1984). It’s not Fiction. 🙂
16) “Radical Islam” – Words you’re not supposed to say because it may make people who are trying to kill us in the name of their religion mad.
17) “Choice” – A wonderful thing when it comes to killing babies, but awful when it’s applied to guns, schools, opting out of Social security or having less government in your life.
18) “Rape Culture” – When men want to have sex with women and worse yet, don’t bother to use consent forms for everything from hand holding to dirty sex on the hood of a car.
Make sure you have it on tape, signed in triplicate, notarized and witnessed by at least 3 credible females (males will be thrown out as biased).
19) “Vagina hats” – What you wear to let everyone know you’re serious people.
20) “Love Trumps Hate” – Screaming obscenities, smashing windows and assaulting people to show that you’re loving and they’re hateful.