From the Desk of President B. Hussein Obama:
Dear American Voters,
I want to take this opportunity to briefly explain why you simply MUST get out and vote this November 2 in support of our many fine Democratic candidates. There are several good reasons for you to do so, and I would like to touch on a few of them at this time.
First of all, recent polls suggest that former President Bush is now running neck and neck with Me in public opinion polling. This suggests that the Republicans have hatched a secret plan to bring that hateful and hated warmonger cowboy back as President! Think about it: first the Republicans take over the Congress, then they bring back Bush! It is definitely possible that they have hatched just such a nefarious scheme. Some of you have suggested to me that this is not possible due to something about “the Constitution” and “an amendment”. Quite frankly, I’ve never actually had the time to set down and read the thing (sooooooo ancient and boring, and I’ve got a lot of golf to catch up on) so I’ll just have to take your word for it. But even so, I can tell you that the constitution never stops me from doing what I want to, so why would the Republican be any different? So let’s get out the vote to defeat Bush!
Not only do we need to defeat Bush, we need to show the world that you people are over being the bunch of racist rednecks you have been in the past. Let’s face it, up until two years ago this was the most racist, backward, bigoted, redneck country on the face of the Earth. Two years ago you finally managed to get something right for the very first time. If you turn around and change your minds now that will totally blow it! Do you really want our great friends in Saudi Arabia, China, Pakistan and Turkey having to look down on you again because you can’t get it together on human rights? And how can you get it together on human rights if you reject Me, the Great Unifier of All Enlightened Ones? So get out the vote to show that you’re finally catching up with the Yemenis on human rights!
As to you seniors, let Me remind you of what you have to be reminded of every election cycle: If the Republicans win they’ll take away you’re Social Security and Medicare, and probably institute death panels to boot! That’s right, if you don’t vote Democrat there will be a freeze on your annual Cost of Living Adjustment for Social Security. Medicare will be stripped of funding, and you will be left out in the cold, eating cat food and waiting to die. So get out and vote for My party to make sure that there are no Medicare cuts (even if they were in the bill, all $500 Million of them), no Social Security freezes (even though we just froze them), and no death panels!:)
Finally, I expect you to do all you can to ensure My victory in November. You need to vote Democrat. You need to take your friends and family and have them vote Democrat instead. Maybe you could offer them a prize or incentive to get out and vote for Me. Many of you have pets (especially you “eccentric” senior ladies and your cats). Well remember, pets are people too! Just go down to your local Democratic Party HQ and they’ll make sure fluffy gets her absentee ballot. They can even fill it out for you!
Dead people in Chicago, may also apply. But Military personnel may not (they are evil and shouldn’t be allowed to vote). It was mere coincidence that the states that missed the mandated deadline were all liberal states like Illinois and New York.
Looking forward to seeing your smiling faces at my next rally. I need some good fainters for on-camera shots.
Your President for Life, (With ObamaCare that’s very Literally True)
B. Hussein Obama
P.S. I really hate to have to say it, but some of these polls I’ve seen force me to bring it up. Are you a bunch of racists? If not, then it’s time to prove it. Remember, vote Democrat to prove you are not a gun-toting, Bible-clinging, racist, homophobe, xenophobe, Islamophobic, redneck who wants to kill old people and children and go back to the old United States of Amerikkka. (a Blogger named Booger with a few additions by me.)
Obama & Co. don’t care about how hypocritical they look. The blog trashing the Chamber, “Think Progress,” is a project of the Center for American Progress. The Center doesn’t disclose its donors. Moreover, they’ve obviously forgotten the controversy in 2008 when thousands of dollars were pouring into Obama’s Internet coffers from an address in “GA.” The Obama folks said they thought that was “Georgia,” but it was Palestinian money coming from the Gaza Authority (as in the Palestinians).
Still, the network reporters tripped over themselves last week to sell the Obama storyline that Democrats were being swamped by ads from “special interests” that didn’t disclose their donors. Team Obama blames this scenario on the evil Supreme Court, and their ruling in Citizens United vs. Federal Election Commission. CBS morning anchor Harry Smith said “thanks to recent Supreme Court decisions,” a lot of money is pouring in, “especially on the Republican side. Some people suggest that this decision has allowed all this money to come in and literally takes these elections out of the hands of the voters.”
Notice the double standard there. When Republicans are winning the battle in the polls and in the campaign coffers, voters are losing. When Democrats are winning, democracy has triumphed.(Brent Bozell)
So, vote for the Democrats, a triumph of Orwellian “reason” over common sense.
Because if you don’t your toothless grandma will be pennyless, homeless and have to live on other people’s dog food if the Republicans win!! 🙂
After all, we are Hope & Change.
And you don’t want to be a Racist, now do you?
Yes You Can. 🙂