New Conditions to Be Sick On

LONDON, ENGLAND – Lost the remote control and can’t be bothered to get up to change the channel on the TV? Don’t worry, you’re not lazy, you simply have sluggish cognitive tempo disorder.

Or maybe you’re prone to a bit of a tantrum when you misplace the car keys? Possibly a sign of intermittent explosive disorder.

These are just two of dozens of extravagantly titled ‘conditions’ under consideration for the latest edition of the Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – the psychiatrists’ ‘bible’.
People who are passive, dreamy or sluggish could be suffering from sluggish cognitive tempo disorder

Symptoms of sluggish cognitive tempo disorder include passiveness, dreaminess and sluggishness – traits that could easily be confused with laziness.

And with other potential entries including sex addiction there are concerns the revised manual will trigger a boom for drugs companies.

Richard Bentall, professor of clinical psychology at Bangor University, dismissed the new conditions as having ‘no basis in science’, adding: ‘The more disorders there are, the more private business psychiatrists get.’

But the American Psychological Association, which compiles the manual, says the new disorders simply reflect changes in our society.

Not all the proposals are so frivolous, with plans to include a new category for autism. Dr David Kupfer, of the revision task force, said the book aimed to be ‘based upon the best science available’.

So the next time someone complains that your room or house looks like a bomb went off in it, just tell them you have a sluggish disorder.

I’m sure some Drug company will come up with something so the Health Care industry can be charged for it.

Recommended Treatment : Kick in the Ass!

Then kick the idiots who came up with this in the teeth!

But that’s probably intermittent explosive disorder. 🙂

Some More:

‘Hoarding’ is just one of the new mental conditions being added to the psychiatrists’ bible, or the Diagnostic And Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders (DSM), to give it its proper name.

People who know me are probably smirking.

Well, these people at least have their own TV show. 😦

Then there’s: “Mary Whitehouse syndrome” — the thrill of being appalled by pornography and other obscenities. Absexuality appears to have been inspired by the zeal of Whitehouse, the campaigner who railed against smut on television.

Mary Whitehouse is probably England most famous violence and sex hysterical ever.

She also became famous for going after my favourite show, “Doctor Who”. The longest running science fiction show in the history of Television.

She was famous for taking on the show and is credited by some as one of the reasons Producer Philip Hinchcliffe got dropped by the BBC in the mid-70’s bringing to an end the wildly successful “Gothic” period of the show to an end.

But she continued to go after it even after that.

In a twist of irony she died on November 23,2001. Doctor Who’s 38th Anniversary!

The show continues in case you didn’t know. It’s on BBC America in the US and Season 31 in 46 years is coming around Easter.

More on this next week. 🙂

Back to our regular scheduled outrage…

The disorders, which also include hypersexuality — the desire for multiple partners, perhaps characterised by the golfer Tiger Woods — reflect changing social patterns. Critics believe, however, that their classification as psychiatric problems may lead them to be exploited for profit by drug companies.

Really, do you think so? 🙂

‘Once a condition has got a label you’ve got a better chance of being treated and researchers are more likely to investigate it,’ explains Professor David Cottrell, professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at the University of Leeds.

Richard Bentall, professor of clinical psychology at Bangor University, in north Wales, said: “Most of these diagnoses are meaningless and have no basis in science. But the more disorders there are, the more private business psychiatrists get.”

So it’s about the  money.

Maybe this is how Global Warming got started.

Someone pass me the Cheetos and the remote I’m going to watch Attack of the Show and charge it all to Aetna. 🙂